with me

I hide my scars behind the makeup
Which everyone calls me pretty about
I was so shy,
I was just an innocent.
But this new place changed me too much
They say i am great,
They adore me like I am a god
But none comes near me
To share the pain of my soul
I am look up and down
Again and again
To see if someone ain't staring at me now.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I see a new girl coming by
She waves me and tells me hai
I ignore her because of my so called fake friends
I read books people laugh
They say why am I acting like a nerd?
I dance to let out my anger
They say see your shape fatass
I sing to let out all pain
They say your voice is like the fucking flowing drain
I don't even know sometimes
Who i am living for un this life.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I see a guy in the hallway
His eyes makes me wanna runaway
somewhere far away where no one would judge me anyday
His laugh makes my world go round
His words make my life go faster
He is just so beautiful that I don't wanna loose him ever after
but then the though haunts me
Will he look at me the same way everyone does
Would he treat like how everyone does.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I walk from the hall way
To cafe
The winds blows too harder
My whole file of paper goes everywhere
He helps me pick up everything
Then talks to me over a coffe
With him it's seems life is so real
He id my everything let the fake things go down the drain
But will he ever look at me the way I do
I shut up and go to my own way
He comes running
His breath is raising
But hid eyes shows the uncertainty
He asks will you go out with me
I don't know what to do
To let this whole fakness go
Be a looser or
Be With the one I love

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I say yes,
I leave everything behind
Cause it's my time to be myself
~Ricky Parker.

My first heartbreak :3

I need some fresh air now,
Thought of you just suffocates me.
I am all by myself now
I don't need anyone to ever be with me
I feel alone in the crowd
But what difference does it ever make to you baby
It's just me now thinking about you lately

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

People say lot of things
Sometimes I wonder why didn't I ever listen to it
The lights are still on this room
But I can feel darkness inside my soul
Everyone seems so happy
Or just fake it.
Why can't I be just like them?

Yeah I get it
It's hard to let everything go
And move ahead
but why did I ever want you in the first place
Is it you holding me in the strings of love which I never wanted
I changed into something that I hate
Is it all just my mistake

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

I see your eyes in my dreams
Staring in mine so we can talk about thousand things
Your hair waving in the air makes me wanna go crazy
Is it only me caring so much?
Is it me just leaving everything apart.
Cause all I ever wanted was good for you baby.

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

My friends want to be myself again
But where can I find the pieces
Which you stole away
From me making me incomplete.
I am sorry for every mistake
I am sorry for everything which went wrong
Can we start it once again?
Cause I still remember the day when you gave me my first heart break.
~Ricky Parker

14: I ever want.

Tear drops rolling from my eye
You're leaving now,
And I have to wave you goodbye.
You have the hopeful smile in your face
Which says we will meet again,
But I can see that sadness in you for leaving me.
It's not love? If it was will you ever go
Tragedies make the life interesting people say,
But nobody said that it hurts like hell when you're in that situation.
The scar near your chin,
The Hazel eyes which look into mine,
Will I ever see them again?

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's been a day since you left,
But it feels like years,
And I want to just see you now.
I miss you teasing me,
I miss your notorious smile.  I miss everything about you,
But I am thinking will I be every able to say this to you?
You're in the flight now,
Flying away to your destiny
Which is far away from me.
I want to stop will all my might,
But I know it won't ever help you out
I am waiting now for the years to pass by
So I could just see you one more time.

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

You say you reached the place now
You say you miss me a lot and need me there now.
I don't know what to do,
You message me ages later,
Ask me to look at those
 Those stars which we used to see together,
I run out of my house,
And realise you have gone so far that it's day here
And night there,
To make you happy i say,
Yes they're beautiful, the stars are amazing.
I lied to make you happy while I am just dying here,
Do you even realise that?

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's almost an year now,
That you moved to the place, you called back after months.
You say you love the place,
You got new friends,
You got a new life where I am just a person who you text,
But have you ever realised?
How much I changed when you're not here.
You say that you miss me,
But now I know you say it to make me feel good.
You have reached your destiny,
Where I am not that person you want to be with,
I knew the bitter truth all along,
You cut the call thinking I am just jealous of your new life,
I don't say anything
You don't realise all I ever wanted was you.


  (Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's been ten years,
Since you left,
Now you're just a dark past of mine,
It's like I don't even know you now.
But the hope inside me never
Stops,
I became what I always wanted to be,
But I don't

Feel satisfied cause you're not around.
I am waiting for you to come around,
But you're still not here.
I am forty five now,
Doctors say I am gonna die in five days,
Maybe I will die without seeing you again.
Oh almighty,  I really did have beautiful life but you're the one thing,
I would always regret,

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

I am in my death bed and everyone who I knew is around
Except you,
I am dying please be here I want to die in your arms
I am dead now my soul is about to fly,
I see you now in my dead body,
The ghost of you sobbing for my death,
Later do I realise,
You died before me,
But I will live with your ghost my whole life,
I loved my death as it lead me to you,
Cause now I can say to you that I love you a lot.
~Ricky Parker

I am not good with titles XD

Here :3 another song written by me and red.

Everything changed
In a fraction of second
One moment you were here
Another you're gone.
I used to smile myself
In the darkest nights
Now I cry myself in
Those same misty nights
The days when I was nothing but happy
Now in those days I am nothing but sad
It's just because you're gone.
So many changes has occurred?

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

A message comes from you
My hopes go high
I jump in excitement
But the message says goodbye.
My heart crumble into pieces
What have I ever done?
To get a broken life like this.
Crying for hours doesn't match the pain you caused
Every thought I think leads to you
I was the person once who spoke million words
Lay back in the silence now
A thought hits me that it never changed
Oh yea you're always there.
There for me.
Doesn't matter if you're here or not
Cause I know that its love for you is what's giving me a reason to smile
Giving me a reason to laugh
So I am not gonna cry.
But be ready to be with you
Cause its not gonna change
Its just gonna be there.
Stay right there in our minds
They love we have for each other will never die
Though it can be million years
Until you're back
I will wait here holding my heart for you.

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

Do you remember those million stars we used to see?
Those days when you ued to be only with me
Everything is changing now
Someonelse is going to be there by your side
Will you be missing me the same way I would
Would you wait for eternity
To be back with me
You said you loved me a lot
My heart trusts you a lot
My brains wants me to go far away from you
But baby you're already away from me
And I am not breathing
Is this love so dangerous
That its worse than us both dying?
Will you be the same when you return
Wll you be there for me when I am dying

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

I have to end this now
End all those untold story of ours
I will wait for you to come back
Look me in the eyes once again
Kiss me in the starlight
Pull me closer to you
And never let me go by your side
I am waiting till eternity for you
Will you do the same?
~Ricky and Red.

something :3

I am trying my best to
Let you go
(You don't have to)
I don't want to be the one
To stop you from your goals.
(You're never gonna do that)
Is it just me who wants you to
Be here,
Or is it me who is stopping you?
(I don't wanna go I just want to stop here and live with you)
Say goodbye to all
the ones you love
(No saying good byes)
Say hai to new friends
(Not gonna leave the old ones behind)
You will make in the new home.
(It won't fee like home)
Just don't forget us
Or maybe just do.
(Oh I am never gonna)
Don't let us be
The one to stop you
(Oh no you won't ever stop me cause you get me archive everything.. Like everything)
Cause it's your life
You gotta live it
The way you want
(This is how I want it)
People come and go
(You aren't gonna go anywhere)
Leave scars leave their memories behind
But it's upto you
To do what you like.
(This is what I like)
You're looking at the old
Pictures that we took
Your smile just keeps on
Growing to a laugh
Your eyes just say everything
That's this is your last day
And it's going too fast.
You have million things
To do here, you have
Million peoples
To say goodbye to
But you say by my side
Asking me if I would cry?
When you will leave.
(Don't cry. I don't wanna leave you behind I want to take you all by my side)
Do you know what it's like
Loose someone you love
(
Darling in twenty four hours
You will know, (I don't wanna know)
Don't just hurt yourself a lot
Because now I won't be there
Near you to say,
Just smile and
let every pain wash away
So don't you cry,
( I will try not to)
Cause it's your life
You gotta live it
The way you want
People come and go
Leave scars leave their memories behind
But it's upto you
To do what you like. (Same as above too lazy xD)

Don't you ever feel lonely
Don't think you're lost
Don't you think anything wrong
Cause I will be always
 looking our for you,
Thats what friends do.
(I love it here... With you)
~Ricky and Red.