Triology

she says its time for us to be together we both be madly in love with each other to not let go for anyone but the days when she is not around the days when i need a shoulder to lean on, i go to that one little girl who i met this summer, my girlfriend says she feels the best around me she says she is loved i trust her with my life but one thing always creeps me out, its the girl i know, the girl who has the best smile, best eyes, yet my heart flutters for my girl so why is my heart beat rise when i talk to her?
I met her in the same way everyone meet,
She came close to me day by day to be my reason to breathe.
i choose her as the one i want to be with forever,
but why does this new girl comes in between my forever.
why does she makes me like i am the best? 
why am i so me around her? 
my girlfriend says she loves me,
i do say i love her back,
but when i say the word love why her face pops in my mind?
have my feelings started to change?

have i fallen for the new girl i let in my life.
if is it so why does my heart still ache to beside my girlfriend and kiss her hard,
what am i even doing? 
why cant i let one of them go? 
why has one become my heartbeat and other my reason to breathe,
good lord have i done so right to get such beautiful people in my life? 
oh lord what have i done so wrong to have the urge to keep them both  and call them mine
why heart why?

-Ricky Parker

Love. Is. In. The. Air

We both met in an unusual way,
He seemed weird.
Weird like me.
Now that same guy makes me think about him all day,
I have never seen him,
Never touched him.
But all i dream about is being enclosed in his arms
For this whole life,
Before meeting him,
I felt weak,
Didn't have a reason to live.
But now when i close my eyes,
I can see him by my side,
Till the day i die,
The way he self judges him,
The way he gets jealous,
The way he says i love you everything makes me feel like i am in heaven.
Whatever he does lights my world up.
We didn't start as cool forever friends?
It all started with a fight.
A fight which made my nightmare life into a dream,
I found him,
It was hard knowing him,
He had so many layers in him,
So many insecurities,
But those layers were so like mine.
That i wanted to get inside them,
See the real him.
The more i tried to know him,
The more i had feelings for him.
From curiosity it turned to love.
A love where, his face didn't matter, his voice didn't matter, anything didn't matter
All i wanted was to be by his side.
Be the shoulder he could lean on.
Yet one day, he confessed how he was in love with another girl,
My heart felt weak, it wasnt broken yet.
I knew the feelings for him should be burnt,
But little did i know..
Even the ashes of those feelings make me fall for him more.
I avoided things,
I tried to smile, everytime he was happy about another girl.
Little did he know how much strength it took for me to be alive,
Later he said, he had ended things with her,
What they had wasnt love.
It was medicine to my broken heart,
Yet him being sad..
Made my heart ache more.
Then i looked at me in the mirror
Will he ever see me as the one he loves?
Will my clothes ever match the perfect girl he left?
Will he ever be happy with me?
It felt like someone stamped my heart with there heavy feat.
I felt like i was sinking,
I knew that i would never be like her.
Every night the perfect girl haunted me,
I knew i was nowhere like her.
Later one day,
He says he is in love with me.
I say the same,
But the insecure me still compares myself with the perfect girl,
He says everything to me,
His dreams, his hopes,
Everything which lights up my world.
He says i am the only one for him,
But is it true?
Will i ever be the girl he needs?
I ask him one day out of desperation,
He says it with a smile
You are that perfect girl i always talked about.
It feels like a dream,
But its the best dream i have ever seen.
-Ricky Parker

Happy independence Day :D

That awful twenty sixth of November
Every Indian still remember
But what they don't remember are the
Soldiers, who protect and bleed

They are the ones who protect our homes
From all the encroaching enemies
And so they're like those garden gnomes
We don't even have to pay them money

On the border all the time
Fighting with militants, through the slime
Doing such great work, they are
To protect the ones, who're in the bar

They consider the whole nation as their family
And so shed their blood for its peace and safety
Their deaths are a huge loss to the country
But no one even cares especially the gentry

“Useless Soldiers" is an oxymoron
And that's what commenced the writing of this epic
And to teach all those futile morons
That soldiers are anaesthetic, ascetic and angelic
- Thwartful guy

Why?

We shared everything,
Every secret, every dream.
Little did i know, you would take my heart away and never give it back to me.
We were just friends.
Soon enough best friends
But little did i know,
I would want you as my girlfriend.

I smile at everything you say,
I cry whenever i see you sad.
I hate the everyone to death who dislike you.
Darling i would do anything for you,
So come to me now,
Be with me. I want you by my side now.
Cause i am suffocating to death
Your few words, your beautiful smile
Makes me go high
I feel like i am in the sky.

I gather up all my courage
To tell you how i feel,
You think i am being funny
And play along as though its not real
You hug me and kiss me
You make me go all insane..
Later you say, i am boring and it was all just a game.

Now here i am crying,
Cutting myself another time.
The pain feels so less
As compared to the pain i felt
When you broke my heart to pieces.
Now all i can do is look at you from backside
When i get too close to you
You push me like i dont mean anything.
I feel so lonely
I wish i was so dead
My friends say get over her
But do they know how much i loved you..

Just loook at me once
Give me one more chance
Be mine forever
Cause the world feels incomplete to me
Without you.
- Ricky Parker

Forever love :')

I saw you in an unusual way,
I was standing in the carnival and you were going round and round in the merry go round
Little did i know, you would make me go around you forever
I tried everything i could for you to notice me
Yet your eye just looked everything through me or past me.
I got my hopes up, build enough courage to ask you out
Yet you refused, you even look beautiful when you are mean.
I almost died , to make you say yes to my proposal.
Oh that shimmer, that beautiful look of hate in your eyes.
I cant even breathe when you are not around.
I was on my way back home,
When old harry asked me to tag along for a movie.
Little did i know you would be there,
The whole two hour long movie didn't interest me as much as your expressions towards everything.
Oh how much i wanted to freeze the moment.
Watch you like this forever,
The movie got over, so did my time to stop looking at you.
You walked away, miles away
All i did was follow you in the road leading to an unknown destination.
We Spoke few words on the way,
Shared few thoughts.
I dont know what happened next
We were dancing in the middle of road hand in hand.
Kissing under the moonlight.

The summer felt like a dream,
You were there by my side all along,
Yet the nightmares had to come.
The society made a black spot on our colourful love.
We broke up, even when our hearts were together forever.
You went far away,
I tried everything i could to reach you.
But you were already gone
All i was left with was emptiness
Few years later when i thought i finally moved on.
You come back to me saying you are engaged.
Cant you see the love in my eyes?
Cause i can see in yours.
I try to stop myself, but i am not over you.
I kiss you hard, you kiss me back.
The kisses compensate all the hollowness i felt in seconds.
We are together again.
But you say you want to leave,
Marry him.
My heart breaks, i beg you to not go.
You say you have to.
I let you go..
My life feels wrecked.
I am broken,
I stare at the front yard
Waiting for you to come back.
You do come back.
This time, i know for sure you wont ever leave me.
Years later, i am telling you all this.
As you hit your head hard.
You forgot everything
But i still know you love me.
So i am here by your side.
Singing this to you as we both die in each others arms.
-Ricky Parker

Is it love?

Oh heart, My heart why do you do this to me?
Why you have to beat so fast whenever i see him.
Why do you make me go breathless when he smiles.
His voice, his eyes, His way of living life
Everything drags me back to him.
Every word i read, everything i do.
Why do i need to relate everything to him?
Is it just my obsession over him?
My ears want to only hear him talking,
I rewind the old recorder to listen to his pale voice which he hates,
It sounds as the best voice in the world to me.
When i hear a love song or a heatbreak one
Why does he pop up into my hollow mind?
Have i really lost everything to him?
But every memory he shared with me seems like mine.
His dreams, his hopes on me make me feel secure and free.
I know he is unreachable to me yet why my heart craves for him?
My body feels so strong but my soul feels so weak.
When i close my eyes he is always there to welcome me.
Why? Oh why? What is happening to me.
He never looks at me, yet i can feel his presence even if he is miles away.
He thinks me as a family, I think him as the one i want family with.
Have i really lost everything i called mine to him?
Even if i did, why dont i regret it?
He seems like a direction i want to follow forever.
He feels like my destination, my journey, my everything.
But for him i know i am nothing.
Why cant i hate him?
We are so far away, yet why do i feel he is so close to me.
To him i am an open book,
But for me his life is a closed door.
Is it really what i think..
Am i really in love with him?
- Ricky Parker

A tribute.

This is dedicated to every person who is harassed by someone in anyway.

I don't need anything I thought
I have everything nothing to regret about
Yet born as a human, my greedy mind wanted something more.
I killed thousand people took everything from them,
Still my greediness didn't go down.
I asked myself what I want?
Brain thought it was the right time to trick me and make fall behind
It said to me, take over the world.
I foolishly ignored the values I had learnt,
I became the devil who people wanted to get rid off,
My soul even feared my very existence,
This time I asked my heart
Is this what I really wanted?
It just replied, you had everything
Yet you felt nothing.
Now you have everything which is becoming nothing
Is this what you want?
I hid myself in shame,
My own heart disapproved my very existence
I wanted to end my life,
I was going to die,
When a cell inside me shouted,
We live and die for you to survive,
You coward, you selfish creature.
Don't you owe us one?
For doing this much work.
I nodded in disgust,
I lived like a dead corpse,
My heart spoke again to me
This time A little gentler and said.
All you need now is little time and love
Before I could say back,
I was already in heaven surrounded
By everything I like
~Ricky Parker 

Boom? Boom.

 Lost in the world
Trying to find someone
Someone who could hold me close
Someone who could fulfil all my dreams
Looking around in this crowded street
See million people roam
I don't even who will be that someone to me
And then you pop up
In front of me
I am stuck in you
Everything around me is flying


Boom boom boom
My heart is beating
Boom Boom Boom
My heart is breaking
Boom Boom Boom
Where are you baby
Boom Boom Boom
It's time to be crazy.
Let's all get wasted.

You look at me
With those small green eyes
I am paralysed
It feels like you're miles away
You're coming near me
My whole body sweats
My heart squeals to run
But my body won't move an inch.
I stand in the crowd like a statue


Boom boom boom
My heart is beating
Boom Boom Boom
My heart is breaking
Boom Boom Boom
Where are you baby
Boom Boom Boom
It's time to be crazy.
Let's all get wasted.

You come closer and closer
I don't know how to feel
It feels we both are alone in this whole wide world
Am I being dramatic?
I ask myself for fifteen times
At last I gain control over my body
I turn over and go away
But my heart wants to see you again

Boom boom boom
My heart is beating
Boom Boom Boom
Where are you baby
Boom Boom Boom
It's time to be crazy.
Let's all get wasted.

I turn one more time
To see you're going another way
To another girl standing
My heart feels broken
I smile to my self
How much stupid I can be
My heart suddenly feels out of blood

Boom boom boom
My heart is beating
Boom Boom boom
My heart is breaking
Boom Boom Boom
Where are you baby
Boom Boom Boom
It's time to be crazy.
Let's all get wasted.

I see you're running to her now
I know how this story will end
I turn and walk away from this place
But my body feels weak
Maybe we all have attractions
To get broken few more times in life
I let go off all those imagination.
But then I hear someone breathing hard behind me
I feel like a dog is back of me waiting to bite
But a voice inside me says turn back
I see the same boy standing behind
I don't know what to do
His face is redder than the color red
He is looking at me with his eyes again
I feel like a four year old now
He smiles with his cola lips. and asks me this time
Why you make my heart go boom boom girl?
Now stay with me forever and heal it
You mad girl

Boom boom boom
My heart is beating
Boom Boom boom
My heart is breaking
Boom Boom Boom
Where are you baby
Boom Boom Boom
It's time to be crazy.
Let's both get wasted.
~Ricky Parker

BURN :3

You're like a piece of paper to me
Which i wanna burn
See the black ashes
And shout in happiness
You might think I am crazy
What am I even saying?
You always thought that.
My dear,  are you sure?
That you really truly loved me.

Meeting me, greeting me
Smiling at me, laughing at your jokes.
All I wanna do is burn,
Burn these memories
And you.
So burn baby burn
Burn baby burn
Just burn and shout in pain.
P-a-i-n
Burn baby burn
Cause I wanna let you know
The taste of you you burning
My heart this way.

For mullion times
I asked everyone
Why is it necessary to burn
Those people who died.
Everyone gave me thousand answers
I still was not satisfied
(S-A-T-I-S-F-I-E-D)
But now I realise
Why they do it.
You know why
Why why why
Cause they want to see
The souls burning
Shouting in pain
The soul which caused
So many misery!
I want you to die this way

Why don't you just die?
Don't break one more heart
Don't spoil one more life.
So burn baby burn
Burn baby burn
Just burn and shout in pain.
P-a-i-n
Burn baby burn
Cause I wanna let you know
The taste of you you burning
My heart this way.

They say I am being cruel
They say I am being mean.
Do they know how my sheriked in pain
(P-a-I-n)
All I want to do is the same to you.
How does that make me mean anyway?

So burn baby burn
Burn baby burn
Just burn and shout in pain.
P-a-i-n
Burn baby burn
Cause I wanna let you know
The taste of you you burning
My heart this way.

Let my feelings go
Watching you fade away
Even the ashes show
The true colour of your heart
That even Devil is better than you.
At least he ain't faking anything
So burn. just burn.
 Die just die.
Away just fade away!
 Away away away

~Ricky Parker

A lecture, if you wanna avoid it the song is below it!

Hey everyone! Yes I know I said I am going to take break of two weeks but well I just couldn't I just had such an intresting week that not expressing about it would be rather stupidity! Well so for the first thing I quit almost social media for a month as I wanted to find myself. Well I seriously don't kno why I used "to find myself" line but well! And it's actually intresting. I didn't know that after chocolate I could get addicted to something like nature and this place weather I am in love with it! As I almost wrote 18 songs in a week. Some intresting facts I knew about myself was that I really love to watch the frogs jump. I know it sounds ridiculous but it's just beautiful seeing them jump and croak it's their own beautiful melody which fascinates me. I seriously dislike dogs. But this certain dog I met while walking in the road took my heart away, unfortunately I can't keep it because it belongs to someone else. But I understood one thing dogs are amazing just that I have to not judge them before, and the grass really looks amazing if you just sprinkle a little water and sleep in them. This place is absolute beauty which I couldn't see for years. I suddenly feel like I lived my whole life in a totally diffrent place, that thought actually haunts me. I love rains, I got to dance in one yesterday after star gazing with a friend of mine, that gave me eternal happiness, and a stupid yet beautiful memory I would always remember, why am I telling you all this? Well the reason is we all live life in  the most unhealthiest way and miss out all the fun. So all we gotta do is explore.
Ps: I miss you all.
P.s.s : I am not writting this a friend of mine is.
P.s.s.s : wish me luck to find more intrest in life and make it worth living
P.s.s.s : I have a poem for you all, just scroll down.

I don't need anything I thought
I have everything nothing to regret about
Yet born as a human, my greedy mind wanted something more.
I killed thousand people took everything from them,
Still my greediness didn't go down.
I asked myself what I want?
Brain thought it was the right time to trick me and make fall behind
It said to me, take over the world.
I foolishly ignored the values I had learnt,
I became the devil who people wanted to get rid off,
My soul even feared my very existence,
This time I asked my heart
Is this what I really wanted?
It just replied, you had everything
Yet you felt nothing.
Now you have everything which is becoming nothing
Is this what you want?
I hid myself in shame,
My own heart disapproved my very existence
I wanted to end my life,
I was going to die,
When a cell inside me shouted,
We live and die for you to survive,
You coward, you selfish creature.
Don't you owe us one?
For doing this much work.
I nodded in disgust,
I lived like a dead corpse,
My heart spoke again to me
This time A little gentler and said.
All you need now is little time and love
Before I could say back,
I was already in heaven surrounded
By everything I like
~Ricky Parker 

two weeks break :3

I am leaving behind everything
Looking towards the light ahead of me
Don't worry about me
I want to be free
I got tangled in a huge mess
Which made everyone feel
Guilty,  of how they have a friend like me.
I wanna get away to a lonely place
I would love to be alone for a while
Away from every problems I got in life
I wanna relax and be free
So I just close my eyes
Look at the beautiful world I imagined
And it makes me cry that
When my vital organs don't work
I see beauty in everything
That makes me say that a
Physically challenged is more beautiful than
A healthy human being.
Maybe having faults is the best
But I need time to heal myself again
I km its okay be broken hearted sometimes
I know everything seems bad sometimes
But It takes time to digest the feelings
It takes time to cry out the pain.
I didn't have a heartbreak
Or got abused by anyone
But the fear inside me is
Eating me alive
Bit my bit
That's it feels hard to survive
I didn't ask for them best life
All I ever wanted was a good life
A life without regrets
But all i do now is regret
Every moment.
I wanna sit behind someone
I wanna be special person
I wanna be the one who can make someone smile
I don't wanna be invisible anymore
I don't wanna share weird post
Which says how life is so messed up
I also want to dream about someone
About something which I would get
I don't wanna be in the cage which gives me nothing but pain.
I wanna change become the old me
All I need is time,
Being alone.
So let me go for some time
I will be back as the one you want.

P.s - guys I am taking a break for a week from everything so have fun enjoy life :)

~Ricky Parker

xD :3

It's been six month since
You and me were together girl
We had our own misery to live with
Every fight I had with you
Made me love you more
Even the parts which are very insane
Light's up my world.
Every mistake you make
I am have been the auto correct till now
The way you stared at me
Is the only thing I can ever think about
We together will succeed in
Reaching our destiny

Cause baby I love you so much
So much that even the
Hottest chic in earth gets extinct
Even rihana stops walking
In her sexy way.
Even THE WANTED stop singing
You will be the reason I will be living for

I am living far away from you
Well it feels like I am in
The abbys of chaos
You are the only reason
I wanna be out
We danced in rain together
Holding each other
Like kindergarten kids
We trusted each other for even stupidest secrets
We fought together for those
Left over chocolates and
I let you have them all.
Your whole face grew red
Whenever I talked about something perverted
Well ain't you always the good one?
These things makes my heart to beat

Cause baby I love you so much
So much that even the
Hottest chic in earth gets extinct
Even rihana stops walking
In her sexy way.
Even THE WANTED stop singing
You will be the reason I will be living for

So girl let's live forever
Let's dream only about each other
Let's smile because of each other
Cause you're the one
Who makes me feel new
Every second.

~Ricky Parker

The Door :3

You're knocking on the door again
Saying it's the last time
You will ever be with me
Yet asking me to see you
One last time
I am here inside my room
Asking you to go away,
The sound of the door cracking
Is heard by everyone,
The neighbours are peeping out
Gossiping about us,
Yet you're standing outside still
With so much patience,
Which makes me cry more

I wait for you to go
Yet you're standing outside
Like a statue which can't be moved
My heart just starts beating harder
My breathe is going high
Yet I don't open the door,
It now feels like,
I am in a cage where
You're trying to save me
Yet I don't wanna be saved.

The rain is pouring so hard
Lighting is striking everything down,
Everyone is rushing to a safe place
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That  I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.


You're waiting for such a long time
Now many eons have pasYou're knocking on the door again
Saying it's the last time
You will ever be with me
Yet asking me to see you
One last time
I am here inside my room
Asking you to go away,
The sound of the door cracking
Is heard by everyone,
The neighbours are peeping out
Gossiping about us,
Yet you're standing outside still
With so much patience,
Which makes me cry more

I wait for you to go
Yet you're standing outside
Like a statue which can't be moved
My heart just starts beating harder
My breathe is going high
Yet I don't open the door,
It now feels like,
I am in a cage where
You're trying to save me
Yet I don't wanna be saved.

The rain is pouring so hard
Lighting is striking everything down,
Everyone is rushing to a safe place
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That  I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.


You're waiting for such a long time
Now many eons have passed by,
We both haven't ate anything since that day,
Or even drank a sip of water
Yet we both survive like immortals.
I try to get up and leave,
Leave the door and go to some other place
But your love is holding me back.
I think to open this door
End your pain,
But then you would leave
That thought haunts me.

Are you being selfish or selfless dear?
Cause all we both can feel is the effect of
The painful love we share,
I wait for you to stop knocking,
And just leaving me without
A sad goodbye,
Lots of people gather around you,
Asking you if you have gone mad.
Why won't you leave me now?
After all if I open the door
You're gonna go anyway,
You don't answer and keep on knocking
I am here keep on hopping you would stop someday,

The earthquake is shaking the land
The flood is destroying everything.
Everyone is rushing to a safe place
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.

Your hands are full of scars now,
Blood is rushing out from every part of your body,
Eagles are flying  above you
Waiting to eat the flesh out of you,
Yet you stand out like a brave warrior
Fighting the door for years,
I am helpless, my heart is aching badly
I want to run to you now
Hold you close let my tears heal your every pain,
Let my kiss wash every sorrow in your life,
But I am holding myself because
Of one selfish thought.

The day has come,
When angels come for me,
To take me away to the heavens
Away from you,
I want you to break the door now,
But you're just knocking
Wanting me to let you in for a last time
The angels are even crying seeing you.
What have I done to you?
Why did I ever make you go through everything.

The satan is coming for your soul
The gods are asking you to come to them, be one among them.
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.

For the one last time I say I love you,
And close my eyes.
The door breaks now but you break with it.
Your body is shattered like broken piece of glass,
The eagles  which wanted to feast on you
Are bowing down to you now,
I see a soul floating past me saying
I Met you at last, now it's my time to go.
I don't know how I should feel,
I wave you goodbye,
And always have this memory stapled to my soul

That even after every difficulty
Even after me asking you to leave
Your hazel eyes turning to red because of the blood rushing out from them,
You could have left without seeing me
It wouldn't have done anything to you.

Yet you were standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I didn't,
You were the one who broke
Every barrier of my life
With your honesty
That you left making a huge trace
In my wretched soul.

Let's meet again someday
But this time you won't have to suffer
Cause this time I would never
Let you leave me.
~Ricky Parker




sed by,
We both haven't ate anything since that day,
Or even drank of water
Yet we both survive like immortals.
I try to get up and leave,
Leave the door and go to some other place
But your love is holding me back.
I think to open this door
End your pain,
But then you would leave
That thought haunts me.

Are you being selfish or selfless dear?
Cause all we both can feel is the effect of
The painful love we share,
I wait for you to stop knocking,
And just leaving me without
A sad goodbye,
Lots of people gather around you,
Asking you if you have gone mad.
Why won't you leave me now?
After all if I open the door
You're gonna go anyway,
You don't answer and keep on knocking
I am here keep on hopping you would stop someday,

The earthquake is shaking the land
The flood is destroying everything.
Everyone is rushing to a safe place
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.

Your hands are full of scars now,
Blood is rushing out from every part of your body,
Eagles are flying  above you
Waiting to eat the flesh out of you,
Yet you stand out like a brave warrior
Fighting the door for years,
I am helpless, my heart is aching badly
I want to run to you now
Hold you close let my tears heal your every pain,
Let my kiss wash every sorrow in your life,
But I am holding myself because
Of one selfish thought.

The day has come,
When angels come for me,
To take me away to the heavens
Away from you,
I want you to break the door now,
But you're just knocking
Wanting me to let you in for a last time
The angels are even crying seeing you.
What have I done to you?
Why did I ever make you go through everything.

The satan is coming for your soul
The gods are asking you to come to them, be one among them.
Yet you're standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I want you to know
That I am the person
 who you  would never
See again.

For the one last time I say I love you,
And close my eyes.
The door breaks now but you break with it.
Your body is shattered like broken piece of glass,
The eagles  which wanted to feast on you
Are bowing down to you now,
I see a soul floating past me saying
I Met you at last, now it's my time to go.
I don't know how I should feel,
I wave you goodbye,
And always have this memory stapled to my soul

That even after every difficulty
Even after me asking you to leave
Your hazel eyes turning to red because of the blood rushing out from them,
You could have left without seeing me
It wouldn't have done anything to you.

Yet you were standing here
In front  of the door
Knocking again and again
Waiting for me to open
But baby I didn't,
You were the one who broke
Every barrier of my life
With your honesty
That you left making a huge trace
In my wretched soul.

Let's meet again someday
But this time you won't have to suffer
Cause this time I would never
Let you leave me.
~Ricky Parker

with me

I hide my scars behind the makeup
Which everyone calls me pretty about
I was so shy,
I was just an innocent.
But this new place changed me too much
They say i am great,
They adore me like I am a god
But none comes near me
To share the pain of my soul
I am look up and down
Again and again
To see if someone ain't staring at me now.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I see a new girl coming by
She waves me and tells me hai
I ignore her because of my so called fake friends
I read books people laugh
They say why am I acting like a nerd?
I dance to let out my anger
They say see your shape fatass
I sing to let out all pain
They say your voice is like the fucking flowing drain
I don't even know sometimes
Who i am living for un this life.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I see a guy in the hallway
His eyes makes me wanna runaway
somewhere far away where no one would judge me anyday
His laugh makes my world go round
His words make my life go faster
He is just so beautiful that I don't wanna loose him ever after
but then the though haunts me
Will he look at me the same way everyone does
Would he treat like how everyone does.

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I walk from the hall way
To cafe
The winds blows too harder
My whole file of paper goes everywhere
He helps me pick up everything
Then talks to me over a coffe
With him it's seems life is so real
He id my everything let the fake things go down the drain
But will he ever look at me the way I do
I shut up and go to my own way
He comes running
His breath is raising
But hid eyes shows the uncertainty
He asks will you go out with me
I don't know what to do
To let this whole fakness go
Be a looser or
Be With the one I love

Do they know
That even I have heart
Do they know
That even I feel the pain
When everybody wants to be me
Everybody wants to replace me
But nobody wants to be with me.

I say yes,
I leave everything behind
Cause it's my time to be myself
~Ricky Parker.

My first heartbreak :3

I need some fresh air now,
Thought of you just suffocates me.
I am all by myself now
I don't need anyone to ever be with me
I feel alone in the crowd
But what difference does it ever make to you baby
It's just me now thinking about you lately

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

People say lot of things
Sometimes I wonder why didn't I ever listen to it
The lights are still on this room
But I can feel darkness inside my soul
Everyone seems so happy
Or just fake it.
Why can't I be just like them?

Yeah I get it
It's hard to let everything go
And move ahead
but why did I ever want you in the first place
Is it you holding me in the strings of love which I never wanted
I changed into something that I hate
Is it all just my mistake

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

I see your eyes in my dreams
Staring in mine so we can talk about thousand things
Your hair waving in the air makes me wanna go crazy
Is it only me caring so much?
Is it me just leaving everything apart.
Cause all I ever wanted was good for you baby.

I never cried in my life
But you were the reason I let  the tears out of my eye lids
I never saw someone being as good as you yet you're the one giving me my first heartbreak

My friends want to be myself again
But where can I find the pieces
Which you stole away
From me making me incomplete.
I am sorry for every mistake
I am sorry for everything which went wrong
Can we start it once again?
Cause I still remember the day when you gave me my first heart break.
~Ricky Parker

14: I ever want.

Tear drops rolling from my eye
You're leaving now,
And I have to wave you goodbye.
You have the hopeful smile in your face
Which says we will meet again,
But I can see that sadness in you for leaving me.
It's not love? If it was will you ever go
Tragedies make the life interesting people say,
But nobody said that it hurts like hell when you're in that situation.
The scar near your chin,
The Hazel eyes which look into mine,
Will I ever see them again?

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's been a day since you left,
But it feels like years,
And I want to just see you now.
I miss you teasing me,
I miss your notorious smile.  I miss everything about you,
But I am thinking will I be every able to say this to you?
You're in the flight now,
Flying away to your destiny
Which is far away from me.
I want to stop will all my might,
But I know it won't ever help you out
I am waiting now for the years to pass by
So I could just see you one more time.

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

You say you reached the place now
You say you miss me a lot and need me there now.
I don't know what to do,
You message me ages later,
Ask me to look at those
 Those stars which we used to see together,
I run out of my house,
And realise you have gone so far that it's day here
And night there,
To make you happy i say,
Yes they're beautiful, the stars are amazing.
I lied to make you happy while I am just dying here,
Do you even realise that?

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's almost an year now,
That you moved to the place, you called back after months.
You say you love the place,
You got new friends,
You got a new life where I am just a person who you text,
But have you ever realised?
How much I changed when you're not here.
You say that you miss me,
But now I know you say it to make me feel good.
You have reached your destiny,
Where I am not that person you want to be with,
I knew the bitter truth all along,
You cut the call thinking I am just jealous of your new life,
I don't say anything
You don't realise all I ever wanted was you.


  (Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

It's been ten years,
Since you left,
Now you're just a dark past of mine,
It's like I don't even know you now.
But the hope inside me never
Stops,
I became what I always wanted to be,
But I don't

Feel satisfied cause you're not around.
I am waiting for you to come around,
But you're still not here.
I am forty five now,
Doctors say I am gonna die in five days,
Maybe I will die without seeing you again.
Oh almighty,  I really did have beautiful life but you're the one thing,
I would always regret,

(Chorus)
If I ever get one wish
One wish that I can ask for
I will wanna die in your arms.
See those eyes,
The one which is breaking everything inside me
Cause you're the only thing I ever want.

I am in my death bed and everyone who I knew is around
Except you,
I am dying please be here I want to die in your arms
I am dead now my soul is about to fly,
I see you now in my dead body,
The ghost of you sobbing for my death,
Later do I realise,
You died before me,
But I will live with your ghost my whole life,
I loved my death as it lead me to you,
Cause now I can say to you that I love you a lot.
~Ricky Parker

I am not good with titles XD

Here :3 another song written by me and red.

Everything changed
In a fraction of second
One moment you were here
Another you're gone.
I used to smile myself
In the darkest nights
Now I cry myself in
Those same misty nights
The days when I was nothing but happy
Now in those days I am nothing but sad
It's just because you're gone.
So many changes has occurred?

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

A message comes from you
My hopes go high
I jump in excitement
But the message says goodbye.
My heart crumble into pieces
What have I ever done?
To get a broken life like this.
Crying for hours doesn't match the pain you caused
Every thought I think leads to you
I was the person once who spoke million words
Lay back in the silence now
A thought hits me that it never changed
Oh yea you're always there.
There for me.
Doesn't matter if you're here or not
Cause I know that its love for you is what's giving me a reason to smile
Giving me a reason to laugh
So I am not gonna cry.
But be ready to be with you
Cause its not gonna change
Its just gonna be there.
Stay right there in our minds
They love we have for each other will never die
Though it can be million years
Until you're back
I will wait here holding my heart for you.

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

Do you remember those million stars we used to see?
Those days when you ued to be only with me
Everything is changing now
Someonelse is going to be there by your side
Will you be missing me the same way I would
Would you wait for eternity
To be back with me
You said you loved me a lot
My heart trusts you a lot
My brains wants me to go far away from you
But baby you're already away from me
And I am not breathing
Is this love so dangerous
That its worse than us both dying?
Will you be the same when you return
Wll you be there for me when I am dying

They say it's easy to love
Why were they so lucky?
They say love makes you mad.
At least they weren't mad before
They say love makes you free like a bird
But i am trapped in this cage
Just,
Cause I can't stop starting at the rusty old picture of ours.

I have to end this now
End all those untold story of ours
I will wait for you to come back
Look me in the eyes once again
Kiss me in the starlight
Pull me closer to you
And never let me go by your side
I am waiting till eternity for you
Will you do the same?
~Ricky and Red.

something :3

I am trying my best to
Let you go
(You don't have to)
I don't want to be the one
To stop you from your goals.
(You're never gonna do that)
Is it just me who wants you to
Be here,
Or is it me who is stopping you?
(I don't wanna go I just want to stop here and live with you)
Say goodbye to all
the ones you love
(No saying good byes)
Say hai to new friends
(Not gonna leave the old ones behind)
You will make in the new home.
(It won't fee like home)
Just don't forget us
Or maybe just do.
(Oh I am never gonna)
Don't let us be
The one to stop you
(Oh no you won't ever stop me cause you get me archive everything.. Like everything)
Cause it's your life
You gotta live it
The way you want
(This is how I want it)
People come and go
(You aren't gonna go anywhere)
Leave scars leave their memories behind
But it's upto you
To do what you like.
(This is what I like)
You're looking at the old
Pictures that we took
Your smile just keeps on
Growing to a laugh
Your eyes just say everything
That's this is your last day
And it's going too fast.
You have million things
To do here, you have
Million peoples
To say goodbye to
But you say by my side
Asking me if I would cry?
When you will leave.
(Don't cry. I don't wanna leave you behind I want to take you all by my side)
Do you know what it's like
Loose someone you love
(
Darling in twenty four hours
You will know, (I don't wanna know)
Don't just hurt yourself a lot
Because now I won't be there
Near you to say,
Just smile and
let every pain wash away
So don't you cry,
( I will try not to)
Cause it's your life
You gotta live it
The way you want
People come and go
Leave scars leave their memories behind
But it's upto you
To do what you like. (Same as above too lazy xD)

Don't you ever feel lonely
Don't think you're lost
Don't you think anything wrong
Cause I will be always
 looking our for you,
Thats what friends do.
(I love it here... With you)
~Ricky and Red.

10. Woes of a Husband and Intro of a New Guy!

Hello everyone! This is Thwartful//Guy and a colleague of your dear Ricky Parker... Let me give you my intro from her point of view..

I'm an asshole (totally! :P) who does nothing (i think I'm breathing, seeing and typing right now.. that's a lot of work) but irritate her (I agree :P) and I've come here to irritate you all with my poems (Exactly!)..

See? She loves me XD... and let me add more information to it.. I'm 14.. lives far away from her (thankfully) and loves to read books and listen to music! And so..I hope you guys find me (and my poems) irritating which is exactly why (according to her) I'm here!


Woes of a husband

For the love of the God
For the soul of my heart
Stop being my lord
And hitting me with dart

She has made me her servant
Makes me do all her work
While laying there dormant
and calling me a jerk

Once i was the love of your life
But now that you've become my wife
All i am is a butler to you
While your lovely repayments are still due

We used to sit in your backyard
And talk about everything
Now I'm sitting by my tankard
Since now we're barely speaking

I hope this is just the God's manuscript
And he makes further changes to it
to give us a happy ending
Till then,
I'll just pay the bills that are pending

~Thwartful//Guy (You can check out my blog as well if you want to!)