Love. Is. In. The. Air

We both met in an unusual way,
He seemed weird.
Weird like me.
Now that same guy makes me think about him all day,
I have never seen him,
Never touched him.
But all i dream about is being enclosed in his arms
For this whole life,
Before meeting him,
I felt weak,
Didn't have a reason to live.
But now when i close my eyes,
I can see him by my side,
Till the day i die,
The way he self judges him,
The way he gets jealous,
The way he says i love you everything makes me feel like i am in heaven.
Whatever he does lights my world up.
We didn't start as cool forever friends?
It all started with a fight.
A fight which made my nightmare life into a dream,
I found him,
It was hard knowing him,
He had so many layers in him,
So many insecurities,
But those layers were so like mine.
That i wanted to get inside them,
See the real him.
The more i tried to know him,
The more i had feelings for him.
From curiosity it turned to love.
A love where, his face didn't matter, his voice didn't matter, anything didn't matter
All i wanted was to be by his side.
Be the shoulder he could lean on.
Yet one day, he confessed how he was in love with another girl,
My heart felt weak, it wasnt broken yet.
I knew the feelings for him should be burnt,
But little did i know..
Even the ashes of those feelings make me fall for him more.
I avoided things,
I tried to smile, everytime he was happy about another girl.
Little did he know how much strength it took for me to be alive,
Later he said, he had ended things with her,
What they had wasnt love.
It was medicine to my broken heart,
Yet him being sad..
Made my heart ache more.
Then i looked at me in the mirror
Will he ever see me as the one he loves?
Will my clothes ever match the perfect girl he left?
Will he ever be happy with me?
It felt like someone stamped my heart with there heavy feat.
I felt like i was sinking,
I knew that i would never be like her.
Every night the perfect girl haunted me,
I knew i was nowhere like her.
Later one day,
He says he is in love with me.
I say the same,
But the insecure me still compares myself with the perfect girl,
He says everything to me,
His dreams, his hopes,
Everything which lights up my world.
He says i am the only one for him,
But is it true?
Will i ever be the girl he needs?
I ask him one day out of desperation,
He says it with a smile
You are that perfect girl i always talked about.
It feels like a dream,
But its the best dream i have ever seen.
-Ricky Parker