Triology

she says its time for us to be together we both be madly in love with each other to not let go for anyone but the days when she is not around the days when i need a shoulder to lean on, i go to that one little girl who i met this summer, my girlfriend says she feels the best around me she says she is loved i trust her with my life but one thing always creeps me out, its the girl i know, the girl who has the best smile, best eyes, yet my heart flutters for my girl so why is my heart beat rise when i talk to her?
I met her in the same way everyone meet,
She came close to me day by day to be my reason to breathe.
i choose her as the one i want to be with forever,
but why does this new girl comes in between my forever.
why does she makes me like i am the best? 
why am i so me around her? 
my girlfriend says she loves me,
i do say i love her back,
but when i say the word love why her face pops in my mind?
have my feelings started to change?

have i fallen for the new girl i let in my life.
if is it so why does my heart still ache to beside my girlfriend and kiss her hard,
what am i even doing? 
why cant i let one of them go? 
why has one become my heartbeat and other my reason to breathe,
good lord have i done so right to get such beautiful people in my life? 
oh lord what have i done so wrong to have the urge to keep them both  and call them mine
why heart why?

-Ricky Parker

Love. Is. In. The. Air

We both met in an unusual way,
He seemed weird.
Weird like me.
Now that same guy makes me think about him all day,
I have never seen him,
Never touched him.
But all i dream about is being enclosed in his arms
For this whole life,
Before meeting him,
I felt weak,
Didn't have a reason to live.
But now when i close my eyes,
I can see him by my side,
Till the day i die,
The way he self judges him,
The way he gets jealous,
The way he says i love you everything makes me feel like i am in heaven.
Whatever he does lights my world up.
We didn't start as cool forever friends?
It all started with a fight.
A fight which made my nightmare life into a dream,
I found him,
It was hard knowing him,
He had so many layers in him,
So many insecurities,
But those layers were so like mine.
That i wanted to get inside them,
See the real him.
The more i tried to know him,
The more i had feelings for him.
From curiosity it turned to love.
A love where, his face didn't matter, his voice didn't matter, anything didn't matter
All i wanted was to be by his side.
Be the shoulder he could lean on.
Yet one day, he confessed how he was in love with another girl,
My heart felt weak, it wasnt broken yet.
I knew the feelings for him should be burnt,
But little did i know..
Even the ashes of those feelings make me fall for him more.
I avoided things,
I tried to smile, everytime he was happy about another girl.
Little did he know how much strength it took for me to be alive,
Later he said, he had ended things with her,
What they had wasnt love.
It was medicine to my broken heart,
Yet him being sad..
Made my heart ache more.
Then i looked at me in the mirror
Will he ever see me as the one he loves?
Will my clothes ever match the perfect girl he left?
Will he ever be happy with me?
It felt like someone stamped my heart with there heavy feat.
I felt like i was sinking,
I knew that i would never be like her.
Every night the perfect girl haunted me,
I knew i was nowhere like her.
Later one day,
He says he is in love with me.
I say the same,
But the insecure me still compares myself with the perfect girl,
He says everything to me,
His dreams, his hopes,
Everything which lights up my world.
He says i am the only one for him,
But is it true?
Will i ever be the girl he needs?
I ask him one day out of desperation,
He says it with a smile
You are that perfect girl i always talked about.
It feels like a dream,
But its the best dream i have ever seen.
-Ricky Parker

Happy independence Day :D

That awful twenty sixth of November
Every Indian still remember
But what they don't remember are the
Soldiers, who protect and bleed

They are the ones who protect our homes
From all the encroaching enemies
And so they're like those garden gnomes
We don't even have to pay them money

On the border all the time
Fighting with militants, through the slime
Doing such great work, they are
To protect the ones, who're in the bar

They consider the whole nation as their family
And so shed their blood for its peace and safety
Their deaths are a huge loss to the country
But no one even cares especially the gentry

“Useless Soldiers" is an oxymoron
And that's what commenced the writing of this epic
And to teach all those futile morons
That soldiers are anaesthetic, ascetic and angelic
- Thwartful guy

Why?

We shared everything,
Every secret, every dream.
Little did i know, you would take my heart away and never give it back to me.
We were just friends.
Soon enough best friends
But little did i know,
I would want you as my girlfriend.

I smile at everything you say,
I cry whenever i see you sad.
I hate the everyone to death who dislike you.
Darling i would do anything for you,
So come to me now,
Be with me. I want you by my side now.
Cause i am suffocating to death
Your few words, your beautiful smile
Makes me go high
I feel like i am in the sky.

I gather up all my courage
To tell you how i feel,
You think i am being funny
And play along as though its not real
You hug me and kiss me
You make me go all insane..
Later you say, i am boring and it was all just a game.

Now here i am crying,
Cutting myself another time.
The pain feels so less
As compared to the pain i felt
When you broke my heart to pieces.
Now all i can do is look at you from backside
When i get too close to you
You push me like i dont mean anything.
I feel so lonely
I wish i was so dead
My friends say get over her
But do they know how much i loved you..

Just loook at me once
Give me one more chance
Be mine forever
Cause the world feels incomplete to me
Without you.
- Ricky Parker

Forever love :')

I saw you in an unusual way,
I was standing in the carnival and you were going round and round in the merry go round
Little did i know, you would make me go around you forever
I tried everything i could for you to notice me
Yet your eye just looked everything through me or past me.
I got my hopes up, build enough courage to ask you out
Yet you refused, you even look beautiful when you are mean.
I almost died , to make you say yes to my proposal.
Oh that shimmer, that beautiful look of hate in your eyes.
I cant even breathe when you are not around.
I was on my way back home,
When old harry asked me to tag along for a movie.
Little did i know you would be there,
The whole two hour long movie didn't interest me as much as your expressions towards everything.
Oh how much i wanted to freeze the moment.
Watch you like this forever,
The movie got over, so did my time to stop looking at you.
You walked away, miles away
All i did was follow you in the road leading to an unknown destination.
We Spoke few words on the way,
Shared few thoughts.
I dont know what happened next
We were dancing in the middle of road hand in hand.
Kissing under the moonlight.

The summer felt like a dream,
You were there by my side all along,
Yet the nightmares had to come.
The society made a black spot on our colourful love.
We broke up, even when our hearts were together forever.
You went far away,
I tried everything i could to reach you.
But you were already gone
All i was left with was emptiness
Few years later when i thought i finally moved on.
You come back to me saying you are engaged.
Cant you see the love in my eyes?
Cause i can see in yours.
I try to stop myself, but i am not over you.
I kiss you hard, you kiss me back.
The kisses compensate all the hollowness i felt in seconds.
We are together again.
But you say you want to leave,
Marry him.
My heart breaks, i beg you to not go.
You say you have to.
I let you go..
My life feels wrecked.
I am broken,
I stare at the front yard
Waiting for you to come back.
You do come back.
This time, i know for sure you wont ever leave me.
Years later, i am telling you all this.
As you hit your head hard.
You forgot everything
But i still know you love me.
So i am here by your side.
Singing this to you as we both die in each others arms.
-Ricky Parker

Is it love?

Oh heart, My heart why do you do this to me?
Why you have to beat so fast whenever i see him.
Why do you make me go breathless when he smiles.
His voice, his eyes, His way of living life
Everything drags me back to him.
Every word i read, everything i do.
Why do i need to relate everything to him?
Is it just my obsession over him?
My ears want to only hear him talking,
I rewind the old recorder to listen to his pale voice which he hates,
It sounds as the best voice in the world to me.
When i hear a love song or a heatbreak one
Why does he pop up into my hollow mind?
Have i really lost everything to him?
But every memory he shared with me seems like mine.
His dreams, his hopes on me make me feel secure and free.
I know he is unreachable to me yet why my heart craves for him?
My body feels so strong but my soul feels so weak.
When i close my eyes he is always there to welcome me.
Why? Oh why? What is happening to me.
He never looks at me, yet i can feel his presence even if he is miles away.
He thinks me as a family, I think him as the one i want family with.
Have i really lost everything i called mine to him?
Even if i did, why dont i regret it?
He seems like a direction i want to follow forever.
He feels like my destination, my journey, my everything.
But for him i know i am nothing.
Why cant i hate him?
We are so far away, yet why do i feel he is so close to me.
To him i am an open book,
But for me his life is a closed door.
Is it really what i think..
Am i really in love with him?
- Ricky Parker

A tribute.

This is dedicated to every person who is harassed by someone in anyway.

I don't need anything I thought
I have everything nothing to regret about
Yet born as a human, my greedy mind wanted something more.
I killed thousand people took everything from them,
Still my greediness didn't go down.
I asked myself what I want?
Brain thought it was the right time to trick me and make fall behind
It said to me, take over the world.
I foolishly ignored the values I had learnt,
I became the devil who people wanted to get rid off,
My soul even feared my very existence,
This time I asked my heart
Is this what I really wanted?
It just replied, you had everything
Yet you felt nothing.
Now you have everything which is becoming nothing
Is this what you want?
I hid myself in shame,
My own heart disapproved my very existence
I wanted to end my life,
I was going to die,
When a cell inside me shouted,
We live and die for you to survive,
You coward, you selfish creature.
Don't you owe us one?
For doing this much work.
I nodded in disgust,
I lived like a dead corpse,
My heart spoke again to me
This time A little gentler and said.
All you need now is little time and love
Before I could say back,
I was already in heaven surrounded
By everything I like
~Ricky Parker